Life is change. 

Constantly challenging our ability to stay safe and secure, tucked away in our cocoon of what we know and can rely on. I’m not good with change. I feel scared when I’m faced with it. 

My first reaction is to grip tighter to what I know. The thing that I desperately don’t want to change. Then the emotions come. 

The nerves.

The tears.

The anger.

The frustration. 

Why can’t it stay the same? Why can’t I feel deeply rooted in how my life looks and not be pushed into the unknown against my will?

The reality is that we don’t have control. We might think we do, in some areas of our lives, but a windstorm or pink slip or medical exam is a quick reminder of how little control we actually have. 

So what would it be like to open our arms to change, to embrace the awkward transition, to face that which we fear, to have the uncomfortable conversations that lead to better communication? To take a time out to think, to process, to feel the change – and accept it for what it is?

I recently moved cities, and as a single mom, I was deeply uneasy about the transition. I drove around the new city praying about which area the kids and I would live in. Visualizing where we would be safe and “at home.” What it would be like in the summer, fall, winter, and spring.

I’ve found that visualizing, imagining, sitting in the possibility of what the change might look like, allows me to prepare my heart and mind for what is coming. 

Even if ultimately it looks different, it is grounding to feel a sense of control over my heart, my mind, my body in these moments. Choosing to turn fear into expectation, anger and frustration into hope and a new perspective. Then putting it into a box for later, so that I don’t succumb to the temptation of perseveration. 

Much of these habits stem from the work I did throughout my own healing journey in Mending the Soul. Naming my feelings, allowing myself to feel them, then choosing to release. The gift of choice is not lost on me.

Life is hard. There are twists and turns we can never expect. It took me a long time to realize this. That you can’t prepare for everything. You can’t do it all right in order for things to happen the way you want them to happen. It’s just not possible to have that much control. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed by change today, pray with me as I seek to lessen my own grip of control, and replace it with open hands to trust, to sit, to process and feel, and to then move forward boldly. 

You can do it. Today is your day. 

Sending up a prayer for you and yours. 

– Melissa

Posted: May 6, 2019