Connect: Chapter Ten


We’re sorry for all the times the church and her shepherds pushed forgiveness on you like a Band-Aid to quell a hemorrhaging heart. How wrong and unfair that is. This chapter will teach you, from the scriptures, that there are three types of forgiveness, not one. Once you’ve worked through this chapter, you will understand that real forgiveness is a process—not a destination—and will continue throughout much of your life. You will understand that active grieving takes time, just as it does to heal any deep physical wound. It’s hard work to push past denial and come out of isolation, to admit, and to feel anger and bargaining and depression, so we can finally reach acceptance of all that’s been lost. So, please don’t feel rushed. Walk it out, lean into the pain, and you will find Jesus there.

Forgiveness will come. Wait for it.


There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.
—Bryant McGill