Connect: Chapter Three

Profile of Abusers

You made it through chapter two, which is the difficult but necessary foundation to understanding the primary characteristics of men and women who abuse. Abuse creates ambivalence and confusion, therefore, we must understand both what Scripture and the research tells us about the profile of abusers. They have a banal quality to their existence, and what stands out about banality, by definition, is that it does not stand out. Thus, what is exceptional about abusers is their commonness. There is power in knowledge, and that is why this chapter is necessary.

This chapter will be hard, and will require you to tolerate difficult emotion while you unpack evil’s impact upon you and your relationships. You’re not alone, and there is freedom at the end!


Again, I saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun. And behold, the tears of the oppressed, and they had no one to comfort them! On the side of their oppressors there was power, and there was no one to comfort them.
—Ecclesiastes 4:1